The Emperor’s Daughter – Chapter 17, Sayana

Sayana’s lessons were going well. As they made their way to that morning’s entertainment, she lowered her shields and watched the corridors. A faint whisper caught her attention. She focused on that whisper as Ivanka had taught her. The previous night, they’d inserted her into Karis’ mind. She reached out to Karis. -Assassins,- she said into his mind. -Four, two in front, two behind.-

Karis stopped and drew his vibroblade. Sayana did the same thing. The guards saw this and drew their guns. The assassins decloaked and attacked, realizing their chance of surprise was lost. The guards took them down before they could get close.

One of the guards called for Demetrios. “Are they dead?” Karis looked at the fallen assassins.

“Wounded, but still alive.” One of the guards surveyed the fallen bodies. “Demetrios gets testy if he doesn’t have someone to question.” The guards disarmed the assassins and held them at gunpoint.

Demetrios arrived with his people and took charge of the assassins. He looked at Sayana. “You heard them?” She nodded. “I’m glad it’s working. We’ll take charge of them and see if we can get some answers.”

Karis and Sayana left Demetrios and his people to deal with the assassins. Two of the guards remained behind to help them. The rest of the guards escorted them to the great hall. Sayana settled onto her throne and watched the entertainment with a lack of interest. It was nothing she found appealing, so she let her mind wander.

When it ended, she applauded with everyone else, and she and Karis retreated to their chambers for lunch. They ate and returned to the great hall for the afternoon entertainment. This was just as boring as the morning, and Sayana found she couldn’t stay focused. “Are you as bored as I am, Mother?” Ethian leaned over and whispered in her ear.

“This is completely tedious.” Sayana agreed with her son.

“It is worse than the high feast entertainments.” Ethian was not giving them any credit, but Sayana didn’t want to either.

“Those at least are somewhat interesting.” Sayana pointed out.

“Do you think father would be upset of we staged a protest and left?” Ethian flashed her a small and very cheeky grin before resuming his neutral expression.

“Very.” Sayana sharing with him an amused smile before letting her face resume the neutral mask.

“I do not want make him angry.” Ethian sighed. “I suppose we will just have to be bored.”

“What are you two talking about?” Karis got her attention.

“How utterly bored we are.” Sayana hid her smile. “Ethian was wondering if you’d be upset if we walked out.”

“I would be aggravated, but I do not blame him. This is the dullest entertainment this year.” Karis stroked his beard to hide a yawn.

“Fallon is also threatening to stage a walkout.” Ethian got her attention and passed on Fallon’s complaint.

“Oh dear, even Fallon is threatening to walk out now.” Sayana reported this to Karis.

“Are the other princes wanting to stage a mutiny as well?” Karis tried to hide his amusement, but Sayana could tell he was more entertained by his sons’ antics than he was by what was going on in front of him.

“Ethian, what about the others?” Sayana asked, leaning over to her son.

Ethian spoke to Fallon. He passed it down the line. The responses came up the chain. “We are all ready to leave.” Ethian sounded like he was ready to lead the princes out right then and there.

“They’re all threatening to leave.” Sayana turned back to Karis.

“They think it is that bad?” Karis raised one eyebrow at his wife.

“We’ve been here an hour. We have three more hours to go. This is so tedious I’m willing to walk out with the boys because I cannot sit still for four hours if it’s going to be this dull.” Sayana watched for a moment. “I don’t know what Lidia was thinking.”

“We are going to get pestered for this.” Karis sighed. “We are going. Tell the boys they can leave.”

“Ethian, go back to the enclave. Tell your brothers they can go as well.” Sayana looked at her son.

Ethian looked at his mother, startled, and then passed the word to his brothers. The five princes rose and left. Karis rose a moment later and held out his hand to her. The two left as well. The whispers started immediately as they departed.

They reached their suite. “Imre, please send a message to the princes. They do have to attend court tonight.” Karis turned to his valet.

Sayana was amused. “They’re going to be disappointed they don’t get to avoid that.”

“I am certain they are. But I let them get out of the entertainment, not court.” Karis smiled.

Sayana giggled. She settled down and picked up her pad. “I’m going to read for a bit, unless Ivanka decides to show up and give me extra lessons.”

Karis sat down beside her with his pad. “I think I am going to read as well. This is probably the most free time we are going to have for a while.”

Karis took her hand. Sayana smiled at him. The two resumed reading until dinnertime, when they put their pads aside and made their way to the antechamber outside the great hall the Imperial family gathered in before entering. “You could not let us get away with skipping court tonight,” Meinard grumbled good naturedly as they arrived. Fallon and Ethian were missing, but the other three were there.

“No, I could not, Meinard.” Karis frowned. “Where are your brothers?”

“Two of them are right here,” Meinard quipped. “But if you mean Ethian and Fallon, Ethian had a crisis, and he and Fallon were talking. They said they might be late.”

“A crisis?” Sayana was now very worried.

“I do not know what happened.” Meinard shrugged. “One minute Ethian was fine and the next he was in his room crying. Fallon heard him and went in to check on him. Fallon came out and told us something was wrong, and Ethian and he might be late to dinner tonight and to send their apologies.”

“Sayana, go and check on them.” Karis didn’t seem too worried, but Sayana was extremely concerned about her son. He didn’t just break down in tears like this ordinarily. Something had to be seriously wrong.

“Yes, Karis.” She left the antechamber with half the guards surrounding her. She kept her shields down all the way to the enclave. The guards there let her in. She put her shields up so as not to inadvertently read Ethian and Fallon’s minds and made her way to Ethian’s room. She touched the chime. Fallon opened the door.

“Sayana, I do not know what is wrong and he is not saying much.” Fallon was very distressed.

“Go to dinner, Fallon. I’ll take care of him.” Sayana patted his arm.

“All right.” Fallon slipped out and Sayana walked in.

Sayana found Ethian curled in a ball, crying miserably on his bed. She settled down next to him and held open her arms. “Ethian, come here. Talk to me.”

Ethian uncurled and flung himself at her. He sobbed on her shoulder for a while before he could finally speak. “I cannot do it, Mother. Father’s order came to come to dinner, and I just cannot do it. I know it is almost over. Last year was awful and this year is even worse. And I am supposed to do this for the rest of my life. I know I sound like I am ten instead of seventeen. I know I need to be strong and an adult and suck it up.” He looked at his mother, his green eyes so like hers full of depression and despair.

“Ethian, this isn’t easy for either of us, is it?” She gently stroked his hair. “And I’ve been doing it longer than you have. I thought I’d gotten used to being on show as a courtesan, but it was never as bad as it is now that I’m the empress.”

“You do not like it either?” Ethian looked at her with his unhappy eyes.

“No, Ethian, I do not.” Sayana wrapped him in her arms and held him close. “I’ll be honest with you, though please don’t go repeating this to your father because it will hurt him deeply.” Ethian nodded. “I sometimes wish we’d never left Covus. I love Karis. I love him more than I do anyone else in this world, except for you. But I don’t know that I’m suited to be the empress.”

“You do it so well though, Mother.” Ethian sniffed. “I am floundering, and I do not know what to do.”

“I only do it well because I have your father to guide me.” Sayana continued stroking his hair. “You have your brothers to guide you, but it sounds like they’re not helping you as much as they could.”

“Fallon is.” Ethian sniffed again. “He is always there, giving me advice, offering me a shoulder to lean on, quietly supporting me and trying to lift me up. He knew he would be in trouble if he stayed with me tonight, but he was willing to risk father’s anger to make sure I was all right.”

“You see? You do have someone who cares very deeply for you, as a brother should.” Sayana kissed his forehead. “That’s how your uncle Kallam and I were with your Aunt Adjira and your Uncle Eon.”

“Can you tell me what it was like having them as siblings, Mother?” Ethian sounded like he was desperate for a distraction.

Sayana smiled. “If it will make you feel better.” She told him of the life she’d had with her siblings.

“Was it hard to leave them when you were made an Imperial courtesan?” Ethian asked.

“Very.” Sayana still remembered the stab of pain she’d felt as she’d said goodbye. “You don’t say no to the emperor, however, so I had no choice but to say goodbye. Kal was out on his first contract so I couldn’t tell him, but I told Addie and Eon. I missed them dreadfully. Then that first winter festival, your father did something wonderful for me.”

“What did he do?” Ethian sat up and looked at her, rubbing his nose on his sleeve.

“As an Imperial courtesan, we were allowed no outside contact with anyone.” Sayana still cherished the memory. “Yet he reached out to your aunt and asked her to write me a letter telling me how Kal and she and Eon were doing. He gave me that letter as my winter festival gift that year. It was the most precious gift I had ever been given. I still have it locked in my jewelry box, in fact.”

“Can I see it?” Ethian asked.

“Certainly. Come with me.” She took his hand and led him out of the room. She took him back to her and Karis’ rooms and led him to her jewelry box. She pulled out the message and handed it to him. She gave him her pad and let him read it. He smiled as he recognized his scholar teacher in the contents of the letter.

“She was feisty even then.” He looked up at his mother.

“Oh yes.” Sayana tucked the letter back into the jewelry box. “Adjira has always been that way. It just got more pronounced as she got older.”

“I suppose we should go join the others for court.” Ethian looked at his mother morosely.

“No.” Sayana startled her son. “I don’t think so. Not tonight. Karis can be angry at me. I don’t care. Come with me.” She stepped out into the common room. “Imre, will you send a servant to tell Karis that Ethian and I will not be joining the family tonight at dinner? Ethian is not well and I’m taking care of him.”

“Is it something serious, Your Imperial Majesty?” Imre was concerned.

“It’s going to take some time to help him get past what’s bothering him, and he’s not going to make it through dinner if I take him in there now.” Sayana wrapped an arm around her son’s shoulders. Ethian bowed his head. “Ardatha, will you please bring dinner for me and Ethian?”

“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.” Ardatha left the room.

“I’ll inform him, Your Imperial Majesty.” Imre looked at her doubtfully. “He will expect an explanation later.”

“I’ll give him one once Ethian goes to bed tonight.” Sayana gave him a firm look. “For now, he can just deal with the court without me.”

“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.” Imre followed Ardatha out of the room.

“Father is going to be angry.” Ethian looked at his mother.

“You let me worry about your father, Ethian.” Sayana sat on the couch and patted the seat next to her. “You and I still need to talk.” Ethian nodded and sat down beside his mother.

It was several hours later when a much calmer Ethian left the rooms. He was tired and was going to bed. He was sure the other princes were already back in the enclave and were wondering where he was. Sayana knew it wasn’t going to be much longer before Karis was back demanding answers. “Is he going to be all right, Your Imperial Majesty?” Ardatha asked. “That was a long conversation.”

“I think so.” Sayana sighed. “At least he will be now. He was raised by a warmaster and a courtesan, Ardatha. He wasn’t raised at court. He’s a little more sensitive than the other four are. He also knows something that has been preying on his mind for months. It’s a lot of stress for one seventeen year old boy to be under and he just broke under the strain. Will you help me change so I am ready to answer my husband’s questions when he gets back?”

“Of course, Your Imperial Majesty.” Ardatha hit the button. “Let me call Faviola and Vai.”

By the time they got her changed, Karis had returned to the rooms. Imre, Lucan, and Adem were following him into the bedroom. “I hope you have an answer for me, Sayana.”

He was angry. He’d used her name. “I do, Karis.” She went out into the main room and sat down. She waited for him to join her once he’d changed.

“I made it clear the princes were to join us for dinner. Why did you send Imre to tell me Ethian would not be joining us? And why did you not return?” He wasn’t yelling but his voice was not the usual tight, controlled one she was used to.

“Ethian hit his breaking point today, Karis. You keep forgetting something about him.” Sayana stayed calm. It was the only way to deal with him right now. She could get emotional later.

“And what do I keep forgetting?” Karis seemed insulted she’d insinuated that.

“Ethian was not raised at court. He was raised on a colony world by a warmaster and a courtesan,” Sayana gazed at her husband. “Even though this is his second year here, it is still very overwhelming for him. Add to that what we told the princes earlier this year about the heir, you have put him in a very stressful situation. Being told he had to come to dinner tonight, after nearly two weeks of constantly being on show, after everything else that’s happened this year, he hit his breaking point.”

Karis regarded her somberly. “You felt you were the one who should handle this instead of me?”

“I am better suited to handling it than you because I know exactly how Ethian feels.” Sayana’s voice cracked a little as some of the emotion she was struggling to contain leaked out. “I have been very near my breaking point several times over the past two weeks. I thought being on show was bad enough as a courtesan. It is a thousand times worse as an empress. The only time I’ve gotten much of a break is when I was poisoned. I don’t count that as a break because I almost died due to our courtiers taking violent action against me.”

“Do you think I do not find being emperor hard?” Karis glared at her.

Sayana sighed. He was being stubborn, and this was not going to go well if she couldn’t get him to see where she was coming from. “Karis, tell me something. How old were you when you left the courtesan wing?”

“I was twelve. You should know that.” He gave her an exasperated look.

“How old are you now?” Sayana had a point to make and he would just have to be patient.

He frowned. “Forty two.”

“Were you told who you were and what was going to happen when you turned twelve?” Sayana continued with her questions.

“Yes. My mother did not want me completely unprepared for my father’s arrival.” Karis didn’t seem to see where she was going with her questions.

“Did you ever stop to consider I never told Ethian who you were or what his life was supposed to be until the day you showed up on our doorstep?” Sayana regarded him soberly. “Ethian had vague notions that you were an important person on the Throne World, and that we were hiding from your enemies, but that was it. He was fifteen, turning sixteen that year, and completely devoid of any concept of what his life was going to be like until you showed up. You thrust him into a world of violence, intrigue, politics, and constantly being on show for people who are out to make his life miserable and who hate his mother for no other reason than she exists. He isn’t taking that well.”

Karis continued frowning. “You think you are better able to discuss this with him than me?” he asked.

“Yes Karis.” Sayana gave him a look of exasperation. “Because I am the source of some of his stress and worry. He’s nearly lost me twice this year. Weren’t you attached to your mother?”

“I was,” Karis admitted. “Losing her was the worst part of my father’s assassination.”

“Think how Ethian would feel if I actually died, then.” Sayana gave him a significant look. “For someone who grew up on a relatively peaceful world who only had one experience with an assassin at a very young age, this is devastating.”

Karis looked at her. “He really broke down?”

Sayana nodded. “He was a sobbing mess when I went to check on them. It took until just a few minutes before you arrived to get him settled.”

Karis sighed. “I was fielding questions about you two all night. This has been the most eventful winter festival for family absences I have dealt with in the entire time I have had the boys.”

“I’m sorry you were inconvenienced, but I was not subjecting Ethian to that tonight when he was in the state he was in.” Sayana let some of her own anger show. “I usually defer to you when it comes to the boys. For once I decided I was going to put my foot down.”

“I was not happy, but I can see why you did it.” Karis began to unwind. “The others have been here since they were children and have been a part of court since they were a lot younger. I have had them attending court events since they were twelve. You are right in the fact that Ethian has only been a part of things for two years. I tend to forget that.”

“Ethian is also very much like you in the fact that he’s sensitive to the suffering of others.” Sayana considered her husband closely. “He hasn’t learned to temper that yet so it’s still very raw.”

“I would say that is more like you.” Karis looked at her. “You are more sensitive than me.”

“I have changed a lot since our wedding.” Sayana frowned. “I’m not nearly as sensitive as I used to be, even with being pregnant. I can’t afford to be. I have to let go of that side of myself. As empress, I don’t have the luxury anymore. I can allow myself to feel compassion for those in pain, but I can’t let that take hold of me like it used to.”

“It has not even been a year since we were married, and you have already changed so much.” Karis looked at her wonderingly. “I am not complaining. I love the woman I am seeing as much as I love who you once were. It is just taking me some time to get used to it.”

“The woman you married would never have stood up to you, even in the matter of Ethian’s well-being, because she was used to you taking the lead.” Sayana looked at him seriously. “I can’t be her anymore and manage as empress of the galaxy. Your court has taught me that more than anything.”

Karis wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Do you think Ethian is going to be all right?”

“I hope so. I managed to talk him through his issues tonight. They’re going to come up again, though. He feels under a lot of pressure, and he has very few people he can talk to about them. Fallon is helping him through some of this, but he doesn’t understand the way I do.” Sayana sighed. “He was afraid to approach me because of how busy I always am, and because I’m pregnant and he doesn’t want to add to my stress level. I told him if he needs to talk, send his servant to get me and I will come talk to him. It doesn’t matter if I’m pregnant. He needs to get this out and not let it fester as he has been.”

There was a chime at the door. Imre went to answer it. Demetrios was let in immediately. “What news do you have for us tonight?” Karis released Sayana and turned to face the investigation minister.

“We scanned the assassins that attacked you earlier.” Demetrios shook his head. “Very easy reads. No psychic shielding and they had ridiculously weak minds. They were sent by Lord Heimirich. We collected him just before court tonight. His ill health made his psychic shielding very weak and we were able to penetrate it with ease. He was paid a significant amount of money, enough to keep his family from being forced to descend in fact, to attempt to kill the empress.”

“Publish this and execute them all.” Karis sighed. “Seize the family’s assets. As much as I hate to say this, take the money he got for the assassination attempt. It will force the family to descend but I will not tolerate them to remain in the upper court based on illegal activities.”

“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.” Demetrios bowed and walked out.

“I did not want to do that.” Karis grimaced. “I hate forcing the family to descend. But I have to do it.”

“I know, Karis.” Sayana placed a steadying hand on her husband’s arm. They sat together for several minutes before finally going to bed.