Image by Elisabeth Guggenberger from Pixabay

Kuen looked up as the front door opened. It was past midnight. The only three not accounted for were Gaspare, Siobhan, and Joana and as he suspected the three of them came stumbling in. They stopped when they saw him sitting next to the makeshift bed and the pale figure lying on it.

“Kuen, what the –?” Gaspare stared at Fiera.

“Emele screwed up, Gaspare. She treated Fury like a featherweight instead of a heavyworlder and did some major damage to her internally,” Kuen said. “She’s still malnourished even though we shoved food into her every chance we got. Nev’s got her on liquid forms of what she needs, and I’m staying up with her to make sure she doesn’t die in the night.”

“Shiv, Joei, go to bed. We can fill your ma in tomorrow. I’ll stay with Kuen,” Gaspare said. The women nodded and headed upstairs. Kuen heard them talking to someone before going into their room. A moment later Phelix came downstairs.

“I couldn’t sleep. Decided I’d come keep you company,” he said.

“Flicks, we didn’t do this on purpose. We thought Emele was treating her like she should’ve been,” Gaspare said.

“I know that. Ma might not, but I do. Heavyworlders take very specific care, especially if what we’ve got is life threatenin’,” Phelix said, sitting down in a chair. He regarded his sister’s pale form. “Fury always used t’complain she felt like death puked her out after dealin’ with medics, mostly ‘cause unless they’re heavyworlders themselves they don’t know what t’do.”

“I do know what a heavyworlder needs, and I neglected to make sure she was getting it,” Kuen said miserably.

“Kuen, Gaspare told me what you did t’rescue my sister. Seems t’me your head wasn’t exactly where it needed t’be either,” Phelix said. “Her rescue traumatized you.” He looked at both men. “Be honest. Did you expect to find her alive?”

 “No,” Kuen said, admitting it for the first time. “I thought I’d find her dead. I planned on killing both women and letting the guards kill me.”

Gaspare elbowed him hard. “What was I supposed to do then?”

“It’s why I made you go heavily armed and armored. I knew you’d make it out even if I went down,” Kuen said with a shrug. “If I found her dead, I was taking those two down no matter the cost.”

“No offense, Kuen. But I’m glad you found Fury alive and that all three of you are here now,” Phelix said. “I like you better as a brother than as a corpse.”

Kuen barked a laugh. “I like you better as a brother than as a corpse too, Flicks. Wish I’d managed to deal with the ketch who ordered the snipers before they shot you though.”

Phelix shrugged. “I survived. That’s all that matters ‘bout that whole mess. In fact, Synon and Adralis were the only fatalities after Phoenix Squadron evac’d from Junna.”

“I told her I’d do my best to make sure neither she nor Synon got paraded around as POWs for the CAF. I couldn’t protect her and Synon’s former crewmates from Aruistrides saw to it that he was enough trouble they just executed him,” Kuen said harshly.

“You did just what you promised her. You kept Synon with the one group of people who wouldn’t let him be taken alive,” Phelix said practically. Kuen looked at him. “You don’t know much about Aruistrides, do you?”

“Not really. I know that’s where a lot of ships are built, and it’s a Colony world people say looks more like a Core world these days,” Kuen said.

“It does, and not in a good way,” Phelix said. “I went there once ‘cause I thought ‘bout joinin’ one of the work gangs. Turned right around and came home. The air is so thick with pollution you have t’have a respirator just t’walk down the street.”

“It sounds horrible,” Gaspare said.

“Kuen, those work gangs, once yer accepted onto one, are like mini families. They take care of each other, and they don’t let anyone mess with the others in the group,” Phelix said. “Synon’s gang did what they always do and fought t’the death to protect him. In the end, Core and Colony didn’t matter. He was one of their own.”

“That’s how it should be everywhere,” Kuen said.

“Yes, it should,” Phelix said. “I know that’s how Fury wishes it could be. We talked a lot, before things got bad, ‘bout those friends she made. Xenon and Calixtra and Devorah and Liliana – the four stylists who helped her out so much when she was workin’ as the Blue Butterfly. Do you know if they’re okay?”

“They were last time we checked. Actually, Xenon and Cali are here in the Colonies. They run a luxury clothing shop on one of the few worlds that still supports that kind of thing,” Kuen said.

“Prob’ly Nekelea or Pinnao. They’re close enough t’the Core they haven’t been as hard hit as the rest of us,” Phelix said.

“Nekelea sounds right,” Kuen said. “I swore to Fury I’d make sure her friends stayed safe so I set them up with what protections I could. Once they got the gift she gave them, they finished the job.”

“The gift?” Phelix asked.

“Fury had quite the jewelry collection by the time she was done as the Blue Butterfly. She had me sell it all and split it between the four of them. It was a significant amount. It bought the two women their house – that’s Lil and Dev – and it bought a state-of-the-art security system for Xenon and Cali. My agents told me, before we left, that the four were extremely happy and living their best lives,” Kuen said.

“That must have made Fury happy,” Phelix said. “She’s always been like that – other people first, her last. In fact, I’ll bet that’s one of the reasons she’s so sick. She didn’t want t’worry you, so she didn’t talk ‘bout how she wasn’t gettin’ treated right.”

Kuen scowled at the comatose woman. “That would be just like her.”

“Kuen, Gaspare, I’m sorry.” Alena was coming down the stairs. “I got angry at the two of you but listenin’ t’Flicks just now made me realize the blame’s got t’go t’that medic who prob’ly didn’t listen t’Fury, and t’my Fury who didn’t tell you she was hurtin’ t’begin with.”

“I could have seen some of the warning signs myself, Alena,” Kuen said. “I was with her a lot of the time. But I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Kuen, PTSD is a thing we know about and I’m sure you were dealin’ with yers flarin’ somethin’ fierce once you rescued Fury. You prob’ly had a hard time tellin’ what was real and what wasn’t some days,” Alena said, her hands on her hips.

Kuen grimaced. She wasn’t wrong. Sometimes it took standing in the garden for hours before he felt like himself. On those days, he barely saw Fiera or Gaspare, preferring to be alone.

“Ma knows what dealin’ with PTSD looks like. She’s had t’talk me, Keo, and Marc down more than once,” Phelix said. “It gets scary when she’s got all three of us goin’ off at once.”

“That’s what Thea’s fer. She keeps Keo from shootin’ the bratlings and the littles. I can deal with Marc by havin’ Nev either talk him down or sedate him. Yer the hard one most days since you can’t even hear me sometimes,” Alena said. She looked at Gaspare. “And yer goin’ t’have t’work with him on days like that. Can you handle him not seein’ you, not hearin’ you, and you havin’ t’keep him from shootin’ everythin’ and everyone?”

“He won’t be the first. I worked with some of the vets while I waited for the High Command to release Kuen after the mess on Junna. It was…educational, to say the least,” Gaspare said. “It’s why I went civ instead of staying in. I didn’t want Kuen living alone and dealing with the kind of trauma I had a suspicion he was carrying around in his head.”

“And you knew he wasn’t goin’ t’stay in the CAF,” Phelix said.

“After what they did to him?” Gaspare shook his head. “If he’d had a gun in his hands there would’ve been a whole new High Command to deal with, and I wouldn’t even have blamed him for it.”

“It was that bad fer you?” Alena asked.

Kuen stared at Fiera. “We had the same problem as Phoenix Squadron. There were just more of us for me to worry about.”

“Skathi, no wonder you were so quick to turn on ‘em,” Alena said.

“Alena, I’d been fighting against the Core for a year before Junna. Me and my unit, we were the renegades and the rejects. The ones no one wanted. I decided since no one wanted us, we were going to show the CAF and the High Command how dangerous we could be,” Kuen said, his voice dropping to a low growl. “We blew up supply drops, sabotaged ships, killed our own troops, whatever it took to make trouble for our superior officers without getting caught. And my unit kept growing because the disaffected were sent to me to ‘straighten them up.’”

“Then what happened?” Phelix asked, leaning forward.

“Then we were dropped on Junna and left to starve to death,” Kuen said. “They thought by starving my unit into submission they could beat us. We refused to lay down and die though, so they sent a second unit to ‘bolster our numbers.’ But she was really there to spy on us. Phoenix Squadron showed up in time to help me pull a coup and get rid of the other unit and their commander. Things would have gone to plan if not for the commandos that got dropped on us.”

“And that’s how Fury got captured, isn’t it?” Gaspare asked.

“I don’t know how she got captured, Gaspare. She was laying explosives on the landing pad where the second drop ship was supposed to come down. She begged me to let her do it so she wouldn’t be taken alive,” Kuen said, not looking at Phelix or Alena. “I let her because I understood what she wanted. None of us were expecting to survive it. But somehow my unit came out minimally damaged, along with Synon. I told him to keep quiet and I’d see if I could get him back to Aruistrides so he could get home. I used every survival trick in the book, and a few I made up on the spot, to keep my people alive.”

“Then the relief ship showed up and you were arrested for being a suspected saboteur,” Gaspare said. “I almost killed a few people for that one. It took my sisters restraining me to keep a certain person alive.”

“I’m not sure how long I was in solitary, but let me tell you, that is a form of psychological torture that I don’t wish on anyone,” Kuen said.

“Eight weeks,” Gaspare said grimly. “I argued with the old man on that one and he threatened to shoot me if I didn’t back down.”

“By the stars, no wonder you were so broken when you got out,” Alena said.

“I got a list of the dead. Her name wasn’t on it, but Synon’s was. They were still scraping the explosion area and I figured they’d find her genetics in the ashes and that would be it. I went civ, changed my name, and for five months watched the news to see if they found her,” Kuen said.

“Then my father told me where she was,” Gaspare said. “My contacts confirmed his information. I told Kuen, and we made our plans. We went in, killed Lakshmi, and retrieved Fiera. Kuen knocked Michi out so she couldn’t raise the alarm and we escaped.”

“She wanted to come home so bad, but Emele – the medic – wouldn’t let us travel with her until she was satisfied she was well enough to handle the trip. Fifteen weeks in darkspace and she didn’t show any signs of this. Then two days here and now she ends up like this,” Kuen said, gesturing to Fiera.

“She prob’ly wasn’t doing much but sitting or stretching while in darkspace,” Phelix said. “In the last two days she’s been really active, just like Fury always wants t’be, and it messed her up.”

Alena sat down beside Kuen and put a hand on his arm. “It’s not yer fault, Kuen.”

“And thanks for tellin’ me what happened on Junna. Fury never would. She couldn’t even tell me what happened to her phoenix and that ring you gave her,” Phelix said. “I suppose those women took ‘em from her.”

Kuen shook his head. “I have them. Fury gave them back to me the day before she started laying the explosives. She didn’t want them being tied back to the Core because she didn’t want any more harm to come to you all.”

“Show me?” Phelix asked. Kuen turned the collar of his shirt down so Phelix could see the phoenix brooch and then lifted out the chain so the ring gleamed in the dim light. “Our birthday’s in three days. Soon as she wakes up fer it, give her that phoenix back. I think she’d appreciate that. When you marry her in two years, give her back her ring.”

“Rings like that are pretty rare out here, aren’t they?” Gaspare asked. “Won’t that show it’s a Core item?”

“Oh, weddin’ rings are bought from Core shops half the time anyway. A weddin’ is somethin’ special out here. You can end up with five or six contracts before you settle on a lifetime partner,” Alena said. “So gettin’ a ring like that would show he’s serious about stayin’.”

“I see,” Gaspare said. “Does that go for antero couples too?”

Phelix nodded. “Rings are just as fancy no matter who’s exchangin’ ‘em. Antero pairings are considered special out here. We’re the ones who take in the littles who don’t have nowhere t’go. And there are a lot of orphans in the Colonies these days that need a good, stable home.”

Gaspare made a gesture and Kuen could tell he was thinking hard about things. Kuen turned his eyes back to Fiera. “I’ll give it to her as a birthday gift, when she wakes up,” he said finally. “The phoenix belongs on her anyway. I always called her my phoenix because it seemed she was able to rise up from anything and make a new life no matter what.”

“She’ll do it again, Kuen,” Alena said, hugging him. “That’s been Fury’s strength since she was a little girl. It’s why we encouraged her t’get the phoenix tattoo when she showed an interest in it. She told us that was the animal she most identified with and while some of the others just laughed, her da and I paid fer her t’get it on her neck.”

“Flicks, did you get one like that?” Gaspare asked.

“I did, but I’m no phoenix,” Phelix said with a soft laugh. “I got a cat. I’m always in the way, making mischief wherever I go, but I always land on my feet whatever happens.”

“Somehow I can see it,” Gaspare said with a grin. “Actually, Fury said I reminded her a bit of you so she equated me with the cat as well.”

“Could you two not flirt in front of me?” Alena asked with some exasperation.

“I wasn’t flirting,” Gaspare said. “I was being honest.”

“Ma, not everything is related to that,” Phelix said with a grin. “Not that I’d mind a bit of flirtin’.” Gaspare turned bright red, and he spluttered a little. “But I know yer not ready fer it, Gaspare.”

“Thanks, Flicks.” Gaspare seemed more than a bit flustered and Kuen privately found it all very amusing.

“No problem,” Phelix said.

“Okay, you two go t’bed. I’ll let Kuen stay up all night because I know he can doze off on the couch and still hear Fury if she wakes up and needs somethin’,” Alena said. “You two? I’m not so sure. Go on up right now.”

“Yes Ma,” Phelix said.

“Yes Alena.” The other two went upstairs.

“Kuen, try t’get a little sleep if you can,” Alena said. She patted his arm again and headed upstairs. Kuen watched Fiera breathe until he grew too tired to stay awake. He slipped his fingers over hers and fell into a light doze.

The tug on his fingers was almost imperceptible, but he felt it. He opened his eyes and found himself staring into a pair of frightened turquoise pools. “How sick?” she whispered.

“Really sick,” he said. “You’re pretty messed up, Fury. Nev says he can get you back on your feet, but Emele didn’t treat you properly for a heavyworlder and you didn’t speak up.”

“I told her I wasn’t getting the right nutrients, and I needed more protein,” Fiera said, her voice very weak. “She didn’t listen.”

“Why didn’t you tell me or Gaspare? We’d have made sure she paid attention.” Kuen did his best not to let any of his anger out on her, though he was raging inwardly.

He didn’t hide it well enough. “Yer angry at me.” The threatened tears slipped down her cheeks.

“No, my phoenix. I’m angry at Emele. I’m angry at myself for not paying more attention. I’m not angry at you.” He lifted her cold fingers to his lips and kissed them, then rubbed them between his hands to draw some warmth back into them.

“Why do you still call me yer phoenix? I’m not anythin’ like that anymore. I’m a wing clipped, useless wreck of a thing with no real purpose,” Fiera said bitterly.

Kuen knew these warning signs well. Hadn’t Gaspare talked him out of a depression like this more than once? “Fiera, look at me. You are still my phoenix, and I believe you’ll get better. You will come back stronger because that’s what you do. You’ll kick my tail for even suggesting you should have said something to us.”

“Not this time, Kuen. They broke me. I’m nothin’. I’m less than nothin’,” Fiera whispered.

“Fiera, look at me.” Her eyes met his. “Do you remember what I told you about Nafisa?” She seemed confused but nodded. “How I carried her phoenix brooch because it reminded me of that day?” She nodded again. “After I thought I’d lost you for good, I carried it with me as a different sort of talisman. It became a reminder that no matter the cost, I would see the Colonies rise from the ashes left behind by the Core.” Her eyes widened as he reached up with one hand and unpinned it from his shirt. “I will see the Colonies rise again, my phoenix. And you will be at my side to see it with me.” He fastened it to her shirt the same way he’d been wearing it, the jeweled enamel on the inside so no one could see it. “Carry it with you and remember that this broken, near useless man loves you no matter what.”

Now Fiera was crying in earnest, but there was a smile on her face. “I love you, you vapor brained bastard,” she whispered.

“I love you too, my phoenix.” He kissed her forehead. “Now, while it’s still quiet, let me wash your face so no one knows you were crying.”

“Let them. It’s about time they knew I was still human,” Fiera said. “I don’t want you t’leave me alone right now.”

“All right.” He held her hand. “What can I tell you about to keep that smile on your face?”

“Tell me about that miserable excuse of a garden you had on Celaria,” she whispered.

Kuen groaned. “This is why I don’t think I’ll make it as a farmer, my phoenix.” He told her about his comic-tragic attempts at gardening, complete with the first plants he’d planted and completely forgotten to water. Fiera didn’t have the energy to laugh but her smile told him she was laughing on the inside.

“I will teach you how t’grow plants properly,” Fiera said. “We’ll make a farmer out of you yet.”

“I think Gaspare will be the better farmer, though he swears he’s no good with plants,” Kuen said. “He’s fascinated by the science behind plant growth, and by the machines that make farming possible. He actually has a level one cert in botany now. He got it because you inspired him to study about plants.”

“Really?” This seemed to surprise her. “What ‘bout you?”

Kuen grimaced. “I focused on business and used the garden as a way to relax. I was at a point where I was thinking about getting my cert in botany. Then I found out you were alive and saving you meant more to me than all of the schooling in the universe.”

“There’s a class you can take through the comm. Once we’re set up at the new farm you should take it. It’ll get you a level one cert in botany. Won’t mean much in the Core but it’ll be useful out here,” Fiera said.

“Really?” Kuen asked. “They allow for distance learning?”

“They used to. Should ask ma if they still do. Remind me when she comes later?” Fiera asked.

“I most definitely will,” Kuen said. “Because if I can do that it’ll mean we’ll have three of us with botany certs.”

“Four. Flicks has his level two cert, last I checked. But he went mech while I stayed bio,” Fiera said.

“Tell me about your classes. What were they like?” Kuen kept her talking until she slipped back into a light doze. It didn’t take long and Kuen closed his eyes once she was asleep again.